10 things not to ask an okcupid date before you meet them.

10 things not to ask an okcupid date before you meet them. (Or possible the 10 questions you should definitely ask if you really think the answer to any of them is yes.)

  1. This sucks, right? This kind of sucks, doesn’t it? I mean kind of? it sucks. Right?
  2. Is this one of my friends fucking with me? Like you made a profile and now you’re like “ha ha, that jack ass thinks it’s a girl who also likes waffles, but it’s not, it’s your idiot friends.” Because that would be dickish.
  3. Will you send me a picture of your feet? I don’t have a foot fetish, I just want to make sure you don’t have hooves.
  4. have you ever killed anybody? Of course not, but seriously, have you?
  5. After we have sex, do you really think we’re going to give a shit about each other’s opinions of The Big Bang Theory?
  6. Are you going to steal my kidney?
  7. I noticed you didn’t answer the question about butt sex. Would you mind answering it.
  8. You know how on the Amerikans their totally assimilated Russian Spies who pass for regular Americans, but then they do spy stuff. Is that you, and if I ask do you have to tell me, like vice cops are supposed to?
  9. It’s really hard to detect sarcasm in writing. So it’s possible you actually hate the collective works of S.E. Hinton. Do you?
  10. Do you promise if I meet you I won’t wake up in a cave thousands of feet underground being used as breeding stock by mole people?
  11. What do you mean by ‘promise is a strong word’
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